Why do men come back and then leave again?
He was the one who initiated everything. He comes and leaves. At first, he seemed like he was madly falling for you, but then he disappeared. It’s clear that he had lost interest. Since I taught you what to do when that happens – there he is again – texting you. Even though you didn’t believe he would. He seems interested. He is curious about where you are, what you are doing … He wonders why he hasn’t heard from you, ignoring the fact that he is the one who disappeared. Sure, he seems interested again – but not for long. He disappears again, and you go crazy because you no longer know what he is up to. Why do men come back and then leave again?
My dear ladies, men are very simple. They easily lose interest. Unlike women, men don’t think too much about a potential relationship at the beginning. However, when they are interested, they can promise anything – they will take you to the moon and stars. But what if they soon after suddenly disappear? After they promise you everything they can think of. What happened there?
It’s quite simple. Things didn’t go beyond physical attraction. Something is missing: attraction on an intellectual and emotional level.
Still, if you know how to respond to his sudden disappearance, chances are good that he’ll come back again.
Why do men come back and then leave again? They come back because they are curious, because they are interested again. They come back when they notice that something interesting is happening in your life. They leave again when they lose interest – again.
Why? Read carefully.
Do men know what they want at all?
Do they know what they want? They know. Those who say they don’t know what they want aren’t really sure they want to be in this current relationship. A man who tells you that he doesn’t know what he wants, is not sure if he wants to be with you. It’s the same with women. An interested woman knows what she wants. When she doesn’t know what she wants and has no time to go out with certain man – it just means that she is not interested IN HIM. It’s easier for all of us to say we don’t have time if we are not interested – it’s more comfortable for both parties.
So, don’t believe a man who says he doesn’t know what he wants. The man who is interested is pretty clear about his intentions.
This is also the kind of man who suddenly knows he needs to buy roses (although he was clueless about buying flowers before). The man who wants to get back with you suddenly knows what to do to get your attention. And he has a cell phone. He is not that busy anymore. That is why you need to give him an assignment.
Why do men come back and then leave again?
The question is: why do men go back and then leave again? Because they quickly lose interest in you AGAIN. And yes, that sucks.
This happens in two possible scenarios:
- The woman he is trying to conquer again – makes it easier for him to get back together with her.
- The woman he is trying to conquer again – guilt trips him.
Then this “poor man” who is found guilty for many things (such as sudden disappearance) withdraws because:
- The easier path won’t make him Superman – so he is never motivated to keep on pursuing you.
- He doesn’t like to be guilty of anything (though he is), so it’s easier for him to escape from an awkward situation.
Keep in mind that I am talking about superficial relationships and people who know each other for a shorter time period. This doesn’t apply to long-term relationships and marriages where the communication is crucial. But if you are not in a serious relationship – forget about long and serious discussions.
If he barely knows you, he won’t be burdened with a sense of guilt.
If a man wants to get back with you, it’s not because of you, BUT BECAUSE OF HIM. Let me clarify this for you: He wants to get back with you because of the feeling your relationship gives him.
In other words: a man will want to get back with you when he feels he is missing out on something when he is without you.
That is why the man who shows interest after he disappears should be given only a chance, a task, a challenge. He needs to feel like a Superman. He needs to feel important and meaningful. For example, when he buys you flowers, thank him and tell him it’s a very nice gesture. Don’t ask him where you stand or any questions about your relationship. Just let him do his best to conquer you.
What to do next?
– I like a man who takes the initiative. I’m curious what’s next 😉
This is an example of a sentence that encourages him to become even better at pursuing you. You can ask him for help with something where he might express himself. Then praise him and make him feel like a Superman.
Why does this have an effect? Because every man wants to be significant. OK?
For a man to feel like a superhero, a winner, a lucky man – he must feel like he is making progress in winning you back. He must feel that his charm has captivated you. He must feel like a man.
Being aware of this can be a game changer when it comes to love, dating and relationships. Next week I’ll be talking about a very interesting topic so be sure not to miss my new column!
I am sending you a big hug!
If you need my help with your specific situation, email me on nelly@sknelly.com or Schedule A Strategy Coaching Call With Me.
Many regards,
Your Love Coach Nelly
