What to do when a man who ghosted you starts pursuing you
How to get him interested again is a question I talked about in the last column. In fact, one of my books was written on the subject. Some men should get a second chance, and some shouldn’t. Let’s talk about the ones who should get one. Not everything in life is black and white, and with that, the relationship can sometimes get better with that same man who once disappeared. How to get him interested again? You need to confuse him. Don’t let him know what you are thinking. And what to do when a man who ghosted you starts pursuing you? Read carefully.
To understand men better, you need to know what goes through their minds when they leave and when they come back. When a man you barely know easily rejects you, withdraws or disappears, don’t ask questions. Move on without too much noise. If there was no drama, yelling, blaming, he will call.
In the last column, I mentioned that you have to challenge him, and today we will talk about it in more detail. What you need to keep in mind is:
The man who started to pursue you again still doesn’t have serious intentions. He simply wants to be closer to you out of curiosity or because things didn’t go the way he imagined. And yes, he noticed that something interesting is going on with you.
No, it’s not about playing games
My dear ladies, please be smart! And read with understanding. For example, when I advise you to show a man how your life goes on without him, it doesn’t mean that you should play games. Quite the opposite. It simply means that you have to take care of yourself, focus on yourself. If a man you were dating didn’t realize that he needs to bring you flowers on an important date, and that a virtual flower won’t replace the real one, that’s not your problem. You can buy yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
If he isn’t asking you out to dinner and someone else is (a new guy or friend), go out and have fun!
Your social networks don’t need to be an open book, but you can post some interesting things from time to time. A man who isn’t calling you or answering your messages for weeks is not the one you should be waiting for patiently. And no, you don’t owe him any sort of explanation or any information about your life.
Just go out, have a good time, post a photo on social media that will get him thinking. When he sees that your world has not stopped without him, he will find you. He will at least send you a message to see what’s going on with your life.
What to do when a man who ghosted you starts pursuing you
The question is: what to do when a man who ghosted you starts pursuing you? Nothing special. Communicate normally without showing enthusiasm or anger.
Answer him kindly without too much interest in his life.
And then what happens?
He will try to pass a “no ball” to you – Where have you been, I haven’t heard from you in a while? he will ask. Many women go crazy in this situation and start explaining that he is the one who disappeared.
But there is one problem. He already knows that.
He knows that he ghosted you. And it is unlikely that he will want to continue pursuing you if you guilt trip him when he comes back. He will easily solidify his decision to leave because he is still not emotionally attached to you.
Is that fair? Not at all. But it doesn’t matter. That’s the way things are.
Men change their minds quickly; they easily lose interest and move as far away from the drama as possible. Even if they are guilty. Even if they weren’t being fair to you many times.
That is why, if you were just dating, and things weren’t serious – you shouldn’t give him a reaction. Then he will want to be significant again.
What to do when a man who ghosted you starts pursuing you? Give him a chance to prove himself. Give him a chance to pursue you.
New opportunity
Many women have wrong expectations when it comes to men who are showing interest after they disappeared.
Namely, when a man starts showing interest again, it does not mean that he has decided to get back with you. At that point, he is just being curious.
This is where many women make mistakes. Instead of giving him the chance to pursue them, many women try to make things easier for men. They explain where they were, what they did and emphasize that they weren’t seeing other men while he was gone. They offer coffee, tea and conversation.
And there you go – he’s gone again.
Why? There was no challenge for him. He wasn’t motivated to show that he is the best. Instead, he is given the green light by a woman who not only gives him a new chance but does her best to make everything easier for him.
And that is a big mistake.
Dear ladies, if a man shows interest in you again, you should give him a chance to show you that he is worthy of you, but don’t make things easier for him.
Men don’t really want the easy way. At least not in the long run.
A man will want to earn his way back to you. And ultimately, when he succeeds in that plan, he will feel like Superman.
What to do when a man who ghosted you starts pursuing you? Give him a chance. Motivate him to please you in many ways. And then praise him for his hard work, without any promises or guarantees.
Till next week, I am sending you a big hug!
If you need my help with your specific situation, email me on nelly@sknelly.com or Schedule A Strategy Coaching Call With Me.
Many regards,
Your Love Coach Nelly
