Unconcious moves that make you seem desperate in men’s eyes
You want to be sure this time. You want to be sure your time is well-planned, sure the other side respects your time. You don’t know how to make sure everything is going to be right this time, so you do what you think you should do. You ask questions, questions in order to make sure nothing goes wrong with your new date. The unconscious moves that make you desperate in a man’s eyes are precisely questions of this kind.
Do we have a date, then? Can I count on it? Are you sure? One hundred percent sure? You won’t bail on me? I don’t want to be disappointed. Others have disappointed me…
These are just some of the questions women use when they want to make sure that nothing goes wrong. Whether it’s going out for a drink, dinner or a weekend getaway, women often want to establish and confirm plans. That’s alright if it’s a friend. However, if it is a man with whom everything has just begun, some sentences of this type can be interpreted as desperation.
Natalia, an advanced student of my Individual Coaching, asked me to write a blog on this topic. Natalia has learned a lot since last spring when she started working with me. As a former athlete, she had no problem with discipline. She learned how to get a man’s interest, how to flirt and how to get him to pursue you. Bouquets of roses, cluttered inboxes, men coming under the window – interesting situations in Natalia’s life followed. Then she started to notice something interesting. Some of those men started to behave insecurely.
Are we going out tomorrow? Are you sure? – those were the type of questions she got from insecure men.
Questions that leave an impression of uncertainty
Wanting to make sure that everything runs smoothly, both men and women sometimes, quite unknowingly, leave the impression of being desperate. That is why, seeing how annoying such messages are, Natalia asked me to write something on this topic. And then she realized what it looked like to the other side, when she was questioning everything about men and behaving in this manner. The unconscious moves that make you desperate in a man’s eyes are precisely questions of this kind.
Dear ladies, even if a man is genuinely interested, questions like this can make him pull away – faster than you can imagine.
So, when you are questioning your date night, for example – Just to be sure, are we going tomorrow? Can you confirm? He will easily interpret it as annoying. If you put yourself in that man’s place, you will start to notice that such questions will make you nervous.
Unconscious moves that make you desperate in a man’s eyes are seemingly ordinary questions. The problem is that these questions hold a specific message that reads: I want to make sure that we will see each other. Such issues are a reflection of uncertainty, and the effect is almost always the same – the other side loses interest before you even get serious.
Men easily change their minds. He might be interested now. That can change very quickly. Likewise, a man who lost interest in you can become interested again. It is important that you know how your conscious and unconscious behavior influences the other persons’ behavior.
How to make sure he doesn’t bail on you
How? Don’t do it. That’s not your problem. If a man initiates a date, then let him make the plans. For example, if he suggested going out for a dinner, then he should take care of reservations. You don’t have to do anything. And if he bails on you? No big deal.
Nothing bad will happen if you don’t go out for one dinner.
So, forget these type sentences: I’ll meet you halfway to make things easier for you.
Why should you make it easier for him?
Men fall madly in love with women who encourage them to put in the effort.
Indeed, why should you make anything easier for him? No, you don’t have to come halfway if he’s the one inviting you to dinner. No, you don’t need to question whether it’s a sure date. It just makes you look accessible and insecure. Unconscious moves that make you desperate in men’s eyes can be easily avoided – once we know how to recognize them. So, my dear ladies, when you are tempted to get hold of a cell phone to make sure he won’t bail on you, stop immediately.
Find a hobby.
Your Love Coach Nelly