The secret that will change your love life
There is something men will never tell you. It’s something that makes them fall head over heels in love for a woman or disappear without a trace. Often, a man will not be able to explain why one woman is more interesting to him than another. Don’t expect a detailed analysis. Don’t expect that a man who fell in love for another woman will explain in detail why this happened. When they lose interest in a particular woman, the men most often say, “That wasn’t it,” or if they fall in love, then they say, “This is it.” What will make you unique in his eyes? What will get him to see you as the one he wants beside him, no matter what? The answer is not necessarily what you’d expect. The secret that will change your love life? Read carefully.
No, this is not click bait. This is not one of the many texts on the internet where you have to click on a like, and you still don’t get the answer. That’s not my style. It is in my style to genuinely help you. It is also my style that the time I spend writing columns results in something useful, instructive, informative.
Information at the right time
The right information at the right time can be a game changer. Believe me, I know.
My first love disappointments were just like yours. I was very confused. The search for answers was not easy. I had no one to advise me. Nobody who was an expert. Very young and very ignorant, I was looking for answers. There were countless articles on the internet, but I was often disappointed with the information I received. In order to get an answer to any question, it was necessary to read a long sales page where the author did not provide any answer. So, I embarked on my own exploration of male-female relationships. And that’s exactly why I know how much advice means – at the right time.
Why do some women win men’s hearts with ease, while others never succeed in doing so? They spend too much time waiting for a man to commit – and that never happens. Why?
The answer to this question is not the one you might expect.
It’s not beauty
No, it’s not beauty. Not the prettiest legs, the thinnest waist, or the face on the cover of the magazine. You, yourself, have often fallen for men who are not classically beautiful. They did not have a perfectly carved body from a magazine. They probably weren’t even close to that ideal. After all, rarely does a man look sensational. It doesn’t really matter. Physical appearance is important, and physical attractiveness can be a big plus when it comes to first impressions. Still, it takes much more than that to develop a better relationship between two people.
The secret that will change your love life? You need to know what makes a man want to commit to one woman and what makes him run away from another.
The secret that will change your love life
What will make you unique in his eyes, the one he wants to commit to, no matter what? The man will want to commit to a woman with whom he feels safe to express his feelings, desires, thoughts …
So, why does a man run away from woman who wants to ensure him that she is the one for him from the beginning of relationship? The one who is constantly offering him safety in many ways?
Because men want to feel safe to express their feelings, but they don’t want a partner who is pushing for commitment. Let’s clarify.
Men want to feel safe next to a woman. They want to feel that this woman will not make fun of them when they express their emotions. It is the woman who encourages them to be the best version of themselves and, in doing so, encourages them to be themselves: sometimes powerful, sometimes vulnerable. It is the woman who makes them strong even when they are most vulnerable.
Women saviors
BUT NOT THE WOMAN WHO PUSHES FOR COMMITMENT.
My dear ladies, it is worth distinguishing the “women saviors” who take on the role of mother, choke the man with exaggerated care, and they never get a simple “thank you” in return. There are also women who tirelessly run after men and act as if they were auditioning for a wife.
All this does not encourage a man to open up and want to connect more deeply.
A man will commit to a woman that makes him feel safe to express his feelings, but this is preceded by something else.
INTEREST.
Yes, you have read well ladies. Interest.
Assumingly he is interested in her, and she gives him enough time and space to conquer her – she soon becomes The One.
Men are biologically wired to chase, and they do not tend to value that which comes too easily. Only by earning his way does he become even more interested in her, and when she encourages and makes him feel valued, he sees her as unique. This is the woman he wants to share his deepest thoughts with. She’s the woman he wants to commit to.
A sense of safety
A sense of safety then begins to play a big role.
If a man is motivated to start a relationship without pressure, he feels rewarded. And if he feels safe to share his emotions with that same woman, then he begins to feel that this might be it. She might be The One.
On the contrary, men can be very cruel to insecure women – those who feel men owe them something. The same man who is ready to do anything for a woman he sees as the one can be very cruel to a woman who plays a role of a victim.
- Why didn’t you call? I thought you were different… is a sentence often used by a woman who wants to guilt-trip him in order to get him to commit.
The problem is, my ladies – he doesn’t want to feel guilty (even though he probably is) – especially if he barely knows you. If he feels you are angry and insecure, then a sense of safety with you no longer matters.
He will feel like a Superman when he achieves higher and higher aims, so make sure you are the BIG PRIZE. Make sure he has to earn his way to you. Let him know he is your Superman and that he can feel safe to express his feelings, but don’t assure him you’ll be there for him no matter what. OK?
If you need my help with your specific situation and a tailored map to getting your ex back, email me on nelly@sknelly.com or Schedule A Strategy Coaching Call With Me.
Many regards,
Your Love Coach Nelly
