He’s not calling. Although he said he would. Everything was great, but suddenly he’s cooled off. From time to time you glance at the cell phone, looking for a good reason why he’s not calling – although he said he would, and although he was the one who initiated meetings in the first place. A day goes by, then two, then three. And then a week goes by. Not a sign of him, not a word. Looks like he’s not as interested as he seemed at first. It’s all a little confusing. What happened here? Was he lying all the time and offering the illusion of a relationship? What’s the reason for such a sudden change in behavior? Why he suddenly stopped calling and how to regain an interest of a man? How to get him back?
Yes, it’s more than obvious – the man in question suddenly lost interest. How, why and what to do about it? Read carefully!
My dear ladies, you have to know one thing – men easily change their minds. There is bad and good news. The bad news is that they need a lot less time to lose interest, comparing to the time they need to truly be interested in a particular woman. The good news is that you can still turn the tables in your favor, of course – if you know how.
Well, what’s the reason for such a sudden change in behavior?
The reason is very simple: this is how he felt then, and now he doesn’t feel that way anymore. OK?
Of course, there are guys who have already established a dishonest story that they sell to women – as part of their pick up program. These are the guys who know what women love and how to cheer them up with stories about sweet kittens, cheerful kids, distant exotic journeys and a romantic getaway cottage. After several exciting nights, they disappear, and suddenly lose their cell phones and any contact with the world. Mostly there’s no clear explanation for their unwillingness to call. And they will not even try to explain the reason for not calling back. They are mostly occupied and excited with conquering other women, so they will coldly and mercilessly ignore your messages and questions. There are always such men. However, in most cases, a man really means what he says at the very beginning of a love relationship. Men actually live in a present moment and therefore don’t think too much about the future of a relationship. This is the stage in which man seeks a challenge, and the sense of excitement about winning an interesting woman creates a certain euphoria.
The initial enthusiasm is often stronger than reason and man can then promise things you haven’t heard before.
At such moments, man doesn’t really think he couldn’t fulfill these promises. This is particularly true in the moments of enthusiasm when he doesn’t think clearly, but is driven by testosterone (a sex hormone that manages male sex drive and mood). In fact, the higher the level of testosterone at a given moment, the greater the inspiration for promises. With sweet promises, skillfully packed compliments won’t be missed either – because this is the stage in which man is doing his best to impress a woman he likes. Especially a woman unreachable to him in some way – which he perhaps considered hard to get for whatever reason. For him that woman has greater value than other women and he will invest an extra effort to win her affections. Then everything becomes magical, until the moment when it ceases to be magical, and the number of his calls goes down or he simply disappears.
Here we come to the main part of the puzzle – why he stopped calling since he was the one who initiated the communication at the first place? He was the one who invited her for coffee, dinner, and who planned all the dates. He was the one who was persistently looking for a chance to win over a woman who initially didn’t consider him as a potential partner. Maybe she didn’t intend to give him a chance. However, he was persistent all the time and finally succeeded in his plan. Charming, sweet talker, fascinated by her appearance, he spewed compliments all over the place to eventually overcome the defensive shield of this unreachable lady, who suddenly turned from a mysterious cat into a sweet kitten purring in a lap. After all, why not, when she realized she likes him and was ready for the next step – relationship? The only problem is that HE still doesn’t think about a relationship. At the very beginning, it was fun for him. Exciting. He was a hunter on assignment. He has succeeded in taking out such a wonderful interesting woman on a several dates. Yes, everything was interesting. As long as this same, until recently unreachable woman, didn’t become the “always available” and “ready for a relationship”. Suddenly her defensive shield fell off and she took on the role of a girlfriend, although they weren’t talking about a relationship. And guess what happens next? It stopped being interesting for him. And suddenly he decided to distance himself. This is how he feels now and accordingly – acts. Very simple, isn’t it? In years of work as a love coach with women of all generations, what I have noticed is that when this scenario comes up, most women make the same wrong step. Let’s see what’s it all about:
– HE suddenly STOPPED CALLING. And what happens then? Hundreds of scenarios run through your head, and every friend you call has her own theory of why he suddenly stopped calling and what you should say to him. You are confused and don’t know who to listen to. One thing is clear – SOMETHING IS AMISS. Something is wrong. And you’re about to find out what it is. Anyway, it seems – you have nothing to lose.
After thinking for a while, you become rather angry and at the same time ready to face him with truth. It looks something like this:
– Sorry, but something strange is happening with you lately. You don’t want to see me anymore, or what?
– What’s going on? You didn’t respond to my last two texts. If you don’t want to see me anymore, just say so! OK? – I thought you are different, but you are like everyone else. We don’t have to see each other anymore, but be fair and say it…
His reaction? A man in a situation like this is almost always completely freaked out. Even if he knows he did something “wrong” and that what he was talking about on the first few dates maybe sounded promising.
A man feels called out, and they don’t like to be called out for anything.
And what happens then? He stops calling because he THEN LOSES interest.
If he previously consciously made a distance from the relationship to assess whether he wants to further invest in it – even if he wasn’t sure – at that moment he becomes certain he DOES’T WANT TO.Then his interest disappears at – the SPEED OF LIGHT.
What may seem to us women as a quite legitimate question in a given situation, to them it represents PRESSURE. And no matter if he was singing sweet tunes like a lovebird during the first few dates, it doesn’t mean he is ready to be called out for his sudden unwillingness to call.
After all, my dear ladies, it doesn’t matter why the number of his calls suddenly went down, it’s important HOW YOU’LL REACT TO IT.
In which direction your relationship will go, actually depends on it. Let’s not forget that men don’t have the same timing regarding attachment – as women. And they don’t have the same view on love relationships.
What to do starts pulling away and how to turn the tables?
Really, what to do when he starts pulling away? How to regain his interest? And if we suppose you’ve been seeing each other for only a few weeks?
NOTHING. OK? Absolutely nothing.
Continue with your life and don’t mind the fact that he didn’t call you for a few days or didn’t respond to your texts. Possible causes for such a change in behavior are numerous, and the most likely one is that for some reason he started losing interest in you. Whatever it may be, his unwillingness to call doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over, while your reaction to his unwillingness to call quickly puts a “seal” on his indecision. If you accept the fact that the relationship you’ve started didn’t develop into something serious and continue with your life without thinking about the explanations you feel he owes you, things will change – to your advantage.
In other words, if the man who you’ve been seeing for a relatively short time starts to pull away – “hedge your bets”.Don’t call him out or ask the questions WHY and HOW.Just move on without any questions.The same man will then want to follow you.
Because, my dear ladies, things are actually very simple and you can achieve whatever you want, when you know how.